admitting the fact

* السلام عليکم *

 こんにちは q(^_~)p

this might be the official countdown before I hit the big 3-0! well, I definitely not going to have any party in vegas, but still, this is like major event! of course I wish to have a nice private gathering with my family but it is still a long way to go (3 month's exactly)

tua dah :P

before hitting the new decade, I wish to reflect some of my mistakes. believe me, this is hard. although some might say this may be late but I think it's better to be late than never. don't worry guys.. this is merely my own fault. I don't want others to have the same problem as I do. I'm currently still trying to sort things out but I think it is best to really reflect this problem and share it with you guys so we can have something to learn by not following my mistake.

admitting this problem is like having to 'buka pekung didada' -- yup, it was that bad.. and it became like 'barah' since coming to kyoto.. sebabnya i thought by solving it slowly somehow this will end.. NOT!

so what was my problem?

malu ok..

tapi demi kebenaran dan perlu untuk diselesaikan..

yes, I have money problem..

and I mean really big problem..

I cannot curb myself from spending..

It's really bad..

dan sumpah taubat nasuha tak mau dah jadi lagu tu..

and how glad i am when my father and husband unconditionally helped me through this problem.. seriously babah, papa, terima kasih banyak.. and I'm sorry to cause you trouble.. malu la dah tua2 masih perlu babah dan suami untuk bantu..

it started when i had my first credit card.. owh seriously credit cards are the BIGGEST DEVIL!! please guys, manage your money carefully..

eh, jangan pula korang ingat mama dikejar along ke atau dah bankrup.. tak2.. tak le sampai tahap macam tu.. cuma sebab rasa masalah duit ni boleh selesai sikit2 maka mama ambil mudah.. ha sekarang ampun! serik!! tak mahu dah berhutang kredit kad..

sedih fikir sebab umur 30 and where does all my gaji goes? spending unnecessary things thinking that those things may give me some happiness.. BOO mastura! I still have my savings here and there.. but still, orang lain umur 30 macam2 aset ada and me? aiyoh.. segan.. (assets in this context means things that generates money for you -- rumah yang dibayar secara hutang tak dikira sbg aset)

sebab tu, I will try to resolve my credit cards problem before coming back to malaysia.. i want to clean up my name, start fresh when coming back and have extra savings for the family.. malu la sebab abah n papa still help me with monetary -- tua dah weehhh!!

to my children, insyaAllah, mama akan sentiasa ingatkan kamu supaya berhemah (my parents did that too but still I had to learn it this way :( -- and i'll make extra effort to learn how to generate good money

so fasten your seatbelt mastura, next 2 years will be hard for you.. start saving and plan for your future -- of course that does not mean that I cannot splurge on anything.. i just need to remind myself to buy only necessary things!

pheww!! i just felt that i've release my biggest fear here -- fear of not able to settle my monetary issue!

owh btw, please don't ask me to join anything on MLM and whatsoever.. am certainly and definitely not interested!

your views are much appreciated :) XOXO